We seem to struggle in our contemporary understanding as to Whom has ultimate authority over us. The “Truth” is that God “is the Boss” and He, as Creator, created the family. In His all-knowing and all-powerful existence coupled with His perfect love, He created something that has incredible power over each of us and greatly influences our children. When home is good, so are we; but when it is not good, neither are we. His Spirit in the hearts of believers equips us with all that we need to function as a family that honors Him.
To produce in our families what is desired requires the Wisdom and Power of Almighty God, which He has revealed to us in The Bible. Superficial or shallow relationships are easy comparatively speaking; however, the intimacy that we all desire in family relationships can be very challenging and difficult. Close relationships are the most impactful and the most difficult, because they are most important. Family relationships can be very painful and hurtful. We are often misunderstood as we also misunderstand others. God knows what is in the heart, and He is the only One Who can supply “all” our needs.
Relationships are a very complex topic. Only God knows the heart of man. There is an old saying that “hurting people hurt people.” As a parent, we must be reminded that the only person we have any control over is ourselves and the only One who can change others is God. Assimilating life as a family can be very challenging and difficult. This is compounded by our contemporary times and all the competition that is thrown at the family and its ability to carve out time and patience to grow and learn of one another.
One aspect of a parent’s ability to connect to their child is compassion. This is a form of investment into their world that requires us to stop and take note. Compassion is a “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.” It is challenging to navigate school, friends, and technology. Our children have been greatly affected over the past few years by extremes that affected their daily lives as they knew them. They have not been able to be children. Many decisions have also compounded the parent-and-child relationship because the parent is tense trying to juggle all the balls in the air to work and educate. Our children feel this and often without being able to express it, may feel like they are a bother.
Another expression for compassion is “your hurt in my heart.” Our children need us to understand their plight from their eyes and understand that we are all capable of the same, i.e., anger, frustration, confusion, lack of motivation. First Peter 3:8-15:
“Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and He will grant you His blessing.”
A parent’s first habit of being able to show compassion to others is to be grateful and settled with our own lot in life. This is called humility or being humbled. Compassion may be to encourage and help someone, to overlook faults and failures, but not to put your experience and problems on them. This is key to our being less self-focused and more aware of the needs of those around us. Matthew 14:14: “And when Jesus went out He saw a great multitude; and He was moved with compassion for them, and healed their sick.” Just the right word at just the right time makes a difference – words rightly spoken are valuable and pleasant to the hearer. Proverbs 25:11: “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”
