Systemic represents an idea that an attitude or behavior might affect an entire system; systemic parenting embraces the reality that contemporary times affect our parenting. Without self-control, we produce in our homes as the culture goes. Luke 16:15 (NLT): “Then He (Jesus) said to them, ‘You like to appear righteous in public, but God knows your hearts. What this world honors is detestable in the sight of God.’”
This influence is lived out in the attitude and behavior of the children as a group when they are together in the same space. We often err in accepting behavior if it is like that of others in the same setting. God’s Word warns us of the consequences of being shaped more by the world than by Him.
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
Romans 12:2 (NLT)
A seasoned teacher experiences not one child who may have trouble sitting still, waiting his turn, speaking out of turn, etc.; but rather an entire classroom behaving this way. When a generation (of children) is loud, interruptive, weak at manners, and very needy for attention, we must acknowledge a systemic problem. Appropriate social behavior does not come naturally, but rather requires training. Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV): “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Might this absence of training be caused by distracted parents because of cell phones and social media? It is not a good thing to be available to everyone and everything all the time. This clouds our priorities. While we are on social media looking at the pictures and plans of a seemingly perfect family, we are neglecting our own.
Psalm 17:14 (NLT): “By the power of your hand, O LORD, destroy those who look to this world for their reward. But satisfy the hunger of your treasured ones. May their children have plenty, leaving an inheritance for their descendants.”
Training a child demands every opportunity we are given. Remember the old adage “as soon as I get on the phone my children start acting out.” Our culture has evolved into a “distracted culture,” and it is affecting this generation of children. We have lost the importance of doing one thing at a time and doing it well. This explains a generation that lacks training in proper social behavior, i.e., waiting their turn, not interrupting others, sitting quietly, etc.
“Then He said to the crowd, ‘If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow Me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed.’”
Luke 9:23-25 (NLT)
Developmentally appropriate training in the home is of critical importance for the well-being of our children and their future. Proverbs 20:11 (NKJV): “Even a child is known by his deeds, Whether what he does is pure and right.”
